I Told Him in a Roundabout Way
by SnarkyTheClown
Summary: Ever notice how we take the least direct route when there's something important to say?


This is a one-shot I wrote in a coffee shop out of sheer boredom. Please read and review…

-Aimes

* * *

He watched her silently as she picked up another cup and hurled it at a tree. He could hear her ranting as she aimed and pitched, putting all of her rage and frustration into the throw.

"Hermione?"

"Bloody idiot! He's trying to get killed, isn't he? All well and good for him to go off half-cocked to save the world," she growled. She picked up a cup. This time he caught her hand.

"Hermione, he's going to be fine, I promise," he said gently.

"Don't make promises you can't keep, Remus," she shot back, wrenching her arm free and looking satisfied when the cup shattered against the tree trunk.

"Well in any case, it's not the tree's fault," he pointed out.

"No, it's his fault for being so damned stupid," she agreed irritably. "I mean, honestly, for a strategist, he's an idiot." She stared contemplatively at the dwindling pile of china before turning away abruptly and sitting down on the grass. She stared into the distance with a stormy expression. Remus sat next to her and waited.

"What do you want, Remus?"

"Subtle," he complimented facetiously. "I'm just here to listen, Hermione," he offered as she glared. She looked away from him once more and said nothing for several moments.

"I've managed to keep the little red-headed maniac alive for eleven years and he goes and fucks it up when we're on the home stretch," she groused. "Come on, we beat Voldemort for Merlin's sake! And Ronald Weasley goes off and gets himself beaten to a pulp by one of the five or so remaining Death Eaters."

"There are only four now," Remus commented.

"Oh shut up, you know what I mean," she retorted.

"So you're upset that he put himself in danger," Remus provided.

"Wow, that was brilliant. Truly insightful. I'm not upset, I'm pissed the hell off! And poor Susan's in there going nutters because we're not sure he'll survive the night."

She abruptly stood up and screamed into the fading daylight before dropping back to her knees.

Remus pulled her into his arms. "You know, Hermione, maybe he wanted…to die. None of us can really know how hard it is for him."

"I know," she sighed, slumping against him and burying her face in his chest. "He's the last one left. All those Weasleys and now there's only him. I mean, Harry and I didn't have much family to begin with…but to have all that love and laughter and then it's just gone… Still. He should never have done something this idiotic. Confronting Nott? After he's escaped from Azkaban four years later? I mean there's suicide and then there's self-mutilation."

"It's not just Ron that's upsetting you, is it?"

Remus laid back onto the grass, pulling her with him. Hermione snuggled against his side and relaxed marginally as he stroked her hair idly.

"Mmph," she replied.

He chuckled against her. "Sorry, I didn't catch that."

Hermione suddenly shifted so that she was atop him and leaned in to kiss him: long, slow, deep, lingering. Remus quickly flipped them so that he was half covering her, one arm supporting his weight, the other gently cupping her face. After a long moment they broke the kiss and Remus nuzzled her cheek gently.

"Let's stay like this forever," she whispered.

"I don't know if my arm will last forever," he replied. He positioned himself on his side and pulled her body against his, locking his arms around her and hooking a leg over hers possessively. "How's this?"

"Susan told me she's pregnant."

Understanding struck him. "That explains a lot. She hadn't told Ron, I presume."

"No. And now she might be raising a fatherless child." Hermione's head rested beneath his chin, and her warm breath caressed his skin.

"Have faith, Hermione. He'll pull through." He kissed the top of her head and rubbed circles on her back.

"I know," she sighed. "And then I'll kill him." She kissed his collarbone gently, taking deep, calming breaths.

"Remus…" she whispered almost inaudibly.

"Hmm?" he rumbled languidly.

"I'm pregnant too."

His hands ceased their motions immediately and he pulled back to look her in the eye. Her face was carefully blank.

"You're pregnant?" he repeated. Hermione nodded. "You're carrying our child?" Hermione nodded again. "You mean…"

Hermione cut him off this time. "Yes. Pregnant, carrying our child, in a family way, knocked up. I think we've confirmed that much."

"Well hopefully the baby won't have your attitude," he replied with a fake hurt look that immediately dissolved into a grin. His hands slid toward her stomach and an expression of wonder crossed his features. "Is it a boy or a girl?"

"How would I know? I mean I'm barely a month pregnant. Do children even have gender at this stage?"

"Do I look like I've ever been pregnant?" he teased.

"Do I?" she shot back instantly. There was a moment of teasingly angry glares exchanged before they both began to laugh.

"Remus," she said hesitantly. "I know we didn't plan to have kids for a few more years…"

"Oh, yeah. Well since you've reminded me…get rid of it then. We're not having kids for at least another couple of years. We'll give this one away," he said ponderously. Hermione smacked him and he laughed again.

"Look," he told her gently, face serious, "If you managed to get pregnant the one time we didn't use a contraceptive method in the five years we've been together, then it was just time for you to get pregnant. What's a couple of years in either direction? Not everything has to be meticulously planned," he reminded her. "Remember our wedding? I thought you were going to blow a synapse. You planned everything perfectly. And _nothing_ went according to plan. Not even our vows. But it was still the second-best day of my life."

Hermione smiled at him as she recalled their…unorthodox…wedding day. "What was the best day?" she asked suddenly, curious.

"Today. Of course today will be knocked back into second place the day you give birth to our child."

"You're hopelessly saccharine," she informed him. He kissed her and let his hand slide beneath her shirt.

"Am I?" His fingers trailed lightly up her spine. "Reform me."

"Never," she whispered, kissing him. "Never ever."


End file.
